Hey you wonderful creature!

Let’s talk about the things we didn't learn in school. Female sexuality is like an ancient treasure map—filled with twists, turns, and mysterious markings—except society decided to print it in invisible ink. Turns out, a lot of what we were told about sex and our bodies is...well, total nonsense. Let’s shine a flashlight on these myths and swap them for the truth.

Myth #1: “You should orgasm through penetration alone.”

Newsflash: penetration isn’t the be-all and end-all of pleasure.
Here’s the deal: the clitoris, with its 8,000 nerve endings (more than double what the penis has), is your powerhouse of pleasure. But society often skips over that fun fact in favor of the outdated “if it doesn’t happen during P-in-V sex, it doesn’t count” narrative. False. The reality is, 70-80% of women need direct clitoral stimulation to orgasm.

So, what’s the fix? Communication! Share what works for you with your partner. Or go solo—pleasure toys like massagewands (wink) are here to make sure your clitoris gets the attention she deserves.

Pro Tip: Next time someone tries to dismiss the clit, remind them it’s the only organ in the human body designed exclusively for pleasure. Bow down.

 

Myth #2: “Your libido should work like a light switch.”

Let me paint a picture: You’re tired, the laundry pile is judging you, and Netflix just dropped a new series. Your brain is screaming “bedtime,” but you’re worried because you’re not in the mood. Is something wrong with you? Nope.

Arousal is more like baking sourdough than making instant noodles. It’s a process that takes the right conditions, time, and care. Dr. Emily Nagoski, author of Come As You Are, explains it beautifully: we all have accelerators (things that turn us on) and brakes (things that turn us off). Things like stress, body image, or even a poorly-timed text from your boss can slam the brakes.

Fun Fact: Studies show that women in long-term relationships often need novelty to keep the spark alive. So yes, that sexy new lingerie or a playful pleasure product might just be your accelerator.

Myth #3: “Good sex is spontaneous and effortless.”

Ah, the myth of spontaneous sex. Blame Hollywood for making us think good sex happens in the heat of the moment with zero planning and zero awkwardness. Real life is different—and better.

Intentionality is the unsung hero of amazing intimacy. Maybe it’s setting a mood with candles and music, experimenting with new sensations, or scheduling a date night that ends in your favorite sheets. (Or let’s be honest, the couch if the sheets didn’t make it through the toddler tornado.)

Permission Slip: Planning doesn’t ruin the vibe—it creates it. And yes, keeping a good lube nearby is planning at its finest.

Myth #4: “Vaginas are supposed to smell like flowers.”

Who started this myth, and can we send them a strongly worded email?
Vaginas are not supposed to smell like a bouquet—they’re supposed to smell like vaginas. A mild, tangy scent is a sign of a healthy, happy vulva. And if something smells off, don’t grab a floral-scented wash; consult a doctor.

Pro Tip: Stick to pH-balanced products (like our toy cleaner) to keep things fresh without disrupting your natural ecosystem. Your vagina is a self-cleaning goddess—treat her accordingly. 

Myth #5: “Your sexual prime is in your twenties.”

If anyone tells you this, please laugh in their face.
Your sexual prime isn’t a one-and-done deal. Many women report their most fulfilling sex lives in their 30s, 40s, and beyond. Why? Experience, self-confidence, and finally learning to ignore society’s nonsense.

This is your permission to explore, experiment, and embrace your desires. Whether that’s trying new positions, exploring kink, or treating yourself to a luxurious pleasure toy, the best is yet to come.

Fun Fact: Research shows that women in their 40s often report higher levels of sexual satisfaction than women in their 20s. Age isn’t a limit; it’s a superpower.

Myth #6: “Talking about sex kills the mood.”

Actually, it’s the opposite.
Open, honest communication about your desires, boundaries, and fantasies can transform your sex life. Think of it as building a roadmap to pleasure. Awkward at first? Maybe. Worth it? Absolutely.

Quick Hack: Try starting with “I’d love to try something new together” instead of “We need to talk.” Instant mood boost.

Myth #7: “Only people in relationships have great sex lives.”

Spoiler alert: single people are thriving.

Self-love is just as important as partnered intimacy. Masturbation isn’t just a fallback—it’s a powerful way to learn what you like, reduce stress, and boost your mood. Plus, when you know what makes you tick, you’re in a much better position to share it with someone else.

Final Thoughts: Busting Myths, Embracing Pleasure

Here’s the truth: your sexuality is yours to explore, enjoy, and celebrate. Whether that means saying goodbye to outdated myths, indulging in a solo pleasure session, or having an honest conversation with your partner, you deserve a sex life that makes you feel amazing.  So take a breath, ditch the shame, and start having conversations that celebrate pleasure and curiosity. Because the truth is, you deserve it.

Now, go forth and myth-bust like the radiant goddess you are.

With love (and plenty of lube),

Sanneke & Wendelien